Sunday August 25, 2013
This weekend was spent with my good friends and fellow Peace
Corps Volunteers at their new home. They recently moved sites, away from their
tiny town of 4,000 to the nearby University town of Robe, 14 km from Goba. We
had a nice time sitting and talking, largely about the challenges that Ethiopia
and we face. In is in this mood that I continue the reflection.
First on my mind is the continued impact of government
dictated careers. I mentioned before that an Ethiopians career is determined by
their high school test scores, sending them to a preselected university to
study a preselected field. (And sadly the ones who fail the test are assigned
the job of being elementary and middle school teachers). Once you graduate, or
if, as the majority of girls face sexual harassment from their professors, if
lucky you are assigned a government job somewhere in the country. This can mean
getting placed in the smallest of towns, away from your family, doing a job
that you have no interest in. Hense the
apathy and lack of enthusiasm to do work.
This is what I see every time I climb the hill in Goba to
check in at the Agricultural Office, bored, uninspired people biding their time
at their job. Everyone sees the huge challenges the country faces so a common
solution is to attend the endless administrative meetings to discuss and debate
the issues. Which, from what I have been told, rarely accomplish anything.
Yikes. This is one of the many reasons that I continue to struggle in finding
any sort of real work project.
When you have been commanded and directed your whole life it
is no wonder that when someone (a small female ferengi) asks you what you think
and how you would address an issue that the answer would be a blank stare or to
blame the government. Why is it so much
easier to come up with excuses rather than solutions? As I reflect on my own
internal metamorphosis I think part of the answer is confidence. The inner
belief that you are valuable, intelligent, special and fully capable to not
only survive but to thrive in life. If everyone felt this, the world would be a
different place.
Instead we see 12 year old girls giving birth as a result of
being raped, streets flooded due to lack of infrastructure, the disappearance
of the last remaining 5% of Ethiopian forest, boredom, criticism and
frustration….well maybe I’m projecting the last one. But things can be pretty
dire here and sitting around trying to figure out how to help is quite a
challenge. As I already mentioned I’m not working on a project, and am slowly trying
to piece my information and contacts together to formulate something that will help.
I knew this would be part of the process but it can be quite a head trip.
It means lots of free time in which to think, reflect and
ponder. As well as meditate, of which I am doing and enjoying a lot. Which
brings me back to reflecting on the question how do you cultivate confidence in
yourself and others? Cultivate enthusiasm, determination, motivation? I fluctuate between the answers of acceptance
and inspiration. Acceptance of the complexity of how life is, of the many
influences and factors that bring each of us to this moment, as it is. Balanced
with the wisdom of inspired action, trying something new and being willing to
fail, to learn, to grow. Imagination that a different reality is possible and
that I, you, and we can make it happen. It is in finding this balance, the ebb
and flow of action and reflection that I find myself. A continual wave often pounding, sometimes
easing me against the shore of perspective truth and insight.
But that is life right? No matter where we are. Or who we
are. And when I drop the internal American “work = success” pressure I can
relax and enjoy being here, being me, and seeing little changes.
In the meantime, when the tide is out and I am content I dink
around in my garden, go for exploratory walks and try to study Amharic, knowing
how crucial it is for connection and exchange. Or simple etiquette as my 70
year old, slightly perverted, neighbor Ato Kasai recently helped me learn the importance
of pronouncing a rolling “r” when saying yibirdal “it is cold” to avoid the accidental
embarrassment of saying yibidal “that was good sex”. Oops!
I also really enjoy baking things
like cinnamon date bread, of which I am going to go eat a warm slice of right
now. (Thanks Dad for the walnuts and Mom
for the coconut!)
